Sunday, July 25, 2004
I don't believe it. I actually prefer staying in camp now compared to spending say, a whole week at home with nothing to do... I still hate going back on Sun nights tho... but alas, no choice, I'm a poor man, no more money to take cab in the early morns now...
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Attended Vic and Bern's wedding yesterday. Dinner was good, the Ritz was posh and as usual, I sat by myself, atuned to my thoughts. 26 and 28, not a bad age to get married. Then again, I don't think they have much to worry about in terms of finances and I always think its good to be married young and have the best of your youth for each other and for your children.
Inevitably however, seeing some faces there, brought back painful memories and hurts which would take some time to heal I guess. I now wonder if I'm going to be given over to regret, of my former associations. She seems happy enough, but no one will bring a sulky face to a wedding dinner right so...
CS Lewis once said, "To love is to prepare to hurt." For there is no love in the world that is free from pain. My wounds are deep, they hurt and still do after many years. But the question of course, is do we allow ourselves to be in that position again? I think we must, I think I must. For if I am to be true to my Lord and myself, I have to learn open my Heart again.
Inevitably however, seeing some faces there, brought back painful memories and hurts which would take some time to heal I guess. I now wonder if I'm going to be given over to regret, of my former associations. She seems happy enough, but no one will bring a sulky face to a wedding dinner right so...
CS Lewis once said, "To love is to prepare to hurt." For there is no love in the world that is free from pain. My wounds are deep, they hurt and still do after many years. But the question of course, is do we allow ourselves to be in that position again? I think we must, I think I must. For if I am to be true to my Lord and myself, I have to learn open my Heart again.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
WHY, O Lord, do you allow me such PAIN, knowing full well that the deepest wounds occur within?
Sunday, July 04, 2004
Just finished watching Spiderman 2... some thoughts.
A quote from the movie, well actually its from the 1st movie, "With great power comes great responsiblity." And another quote, similar to it, just ran into my head.
"With great truth comes great responsibility."
I think I can really relate to this character. Although I don't have that complicated a love life, I think, and I don't have super powers that enable me to scale walls and shoot web and swing from building to building... BUT, we both have a great responsibility.
For I have the truth. And I must tell His story. In the movie/comics, Spidey has the chance to save his uncle's life but he didn't. Imagine if YOU have the power to bring someone to the other side of eternity but you didn't. All because you couldn't bring yourself to speak the Word of truth.
Most who know me know I'm considering full-time ministry. Its a path I must take. Its a part of me I can't deny. Like how did that song go? "I'd die to tell the world Your story?" I know I have a story to tell. I'm telling His story. But it ain't gonna be easy. There are sacrifices to be made.
"Is that why? Because you can't follow me into this adventure? Because its a path you're afraid to thread? Because our path's are so different? Is it really? That different...?"
With great TRUTH, comes great responsibility... and great sacrifice.
A quote from the movie, well actually its from the 1st movie, "With great power comes great responsiblity." And another quote, similar to it, just ran into my head.
"With great truth comes great responsibility."
I think I can really relate to this character. Although I don't have that complicated a love life, I think, and I don't have super powers that enable me to scale walls and shoot web and swing from building to building... BUT, we both have a great responsibility.
For I have the truth. And I must tell His story. In the movie/comics, Spidey has the chance to save his uncle's life but he didn't. Imagine if YOU have the power to bring someone to the other side of eternity but you didn't. All because you couldn't bring yourself to speak the Word of truth.
Most who know me know I'm considering full-time ministry. Its a path I must take. Its a part of me I can't deny. Like how did that song go? "I'd die to tell the world Your story?" I know I have a story to tell. I'm telling His story. But it ain't gonna be easy. There are sacrifices to be made.
"Is that why? Because you can't follow me into this adventure? Because its a path you're afraid to thread? Because our path's are so different? Is it really? That different...?"
With great TRUTH, comes great responsibility... and great sacrifice.
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Change. As inevitable as the rising sun. Unless you're talking about the second coming, global holocaust that sorta thing, of which, the sun will probably not rise again.
Anyway.
People change, relationships change, situations change, everything is in flux all the time. How do we make sense of anything at all in all this confusion and the like? I'm at a crossroads now. No, make that a multiple junction. Hmm, better make it multiples of a multiple junction. How do I so order my life now? What is the path to take O Lord? Where is it you wish me to go? I'm a soldier awaiting his posting... A Ranger in the Lord's army.
A part of me wants to leave Singapore, badly, desperately, this place of ill memories. Is there anything I really honestly can't bear to leave behind? No, as I see it now, there is nothing worth staying for here now.
I can't wait to go out into the world, to explore, to taste the world. To pit myself against other creative minds that have not been corrupted (like I have) by the cookie cutter mould of an education system we have in Singapore. Sort of like affirming to myself that, "Hey, I've got what it takes to run with the big boys.'
Oh how I wish I could sign my NS clearance now...
Anyway.
People change, relationships change, situations change, everything is in flux all the time. How do we make sense of anything at all in all this confusion and the like? I'm at a crossroads now. No, make that a multiple junction. Hmm, better make it multiples of a multiple junction. How do I so order my life now? What is the path to take O Lord? Where is it you wish me to go? I'm a soldier awaiting his posting... A Ranger in the Lord's army.
A part of me wants to leave Singapore, badly, desperately, this place of ill memories. Is there anything I really honestly can't bear to leave behind? No, as I see it now, there is nothing worth staying for here now.
I can't wait to go out into the world, to explore, to taste the world. To pit myself against other creative minds that have not been corrupted (like I have) by the cookie cutter mould of an education system we have in Singapore. Sort of like affirming to myself that, "Hey, I've got what it takes to run with the big boys.'
Oh how I wish I could sign my NS clearance now...
